


Darling, we're Free

by Valkery



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Child Abuse, Drug Use, Found Family, LGBTQ Character of Color, LGBTQ Characters, Misgendering, Trans Character, Transphobia, but i have literally no idea where this story is going, either fantasy, listen they'll be happy, maybe both, or slice of life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-06-26 00:39:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15652215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valkery/pseuds/Valkery
Summary: two teens from a small town run into four teens on a road trip, each of them running from something. After Darling's father pushes them too far, Free decides that an adventure across the country is just what they need





	1. Chapter

**Author's Note:**

> hello! thank u for taking time out of ur life to read this! i can't promise that it'll be good as even I don't know where the characters are heading but I will try my best to make it worth your time.

The first time I ran into her, I was eleven years old and we collided on the street. I’d been on my way back from the corner store down the street and my slushie had gone flying, most of it landing on her shirt. I’d reached out to help her up, and startled at how she’d looked so frightened. Her eyes were wild, darting between me and some unseen threat behind her. She ignored my hand, scrambling up and spurting out apologies. For a second she looked like she might have calmed down, but someone started yelling in the distance and she took off like a bullet. I hadn't wanted to hang back and meet whoever had scared her so badly so I wasted no time following her initiative and rushed off.

The second time I saw her was in a grocery store, two years later. It took me a second to recognize her, with her hair cut short and dyed bright blue. I stood staring, as she slipped a box of granola bars in her bag. Turning she caught my eyes and blew me a kiss before skipping out of the store. I marveled at the change in character. Unconsciously I noted that she was a lot prettier when she didn’t look like she was running for her life.

The third time was on my fourteenth birthday. The clock had just hit midnight and I couldn't sleep. Tossing and turning until morning wasn’t very appealing, so I’d grabbed some snacks and blankets and headed to the park across from my house to stargaze. She was sitting on the slide and I set down my blanket near the splash pad. We ignored each other at first, but when I pulled out a sandwich, I caught her stealing glances. I waved and yelled out an offer- food for some company and she spent the rest of the night spinning me tales of floating islands and fairies from far away. 

We spent more time together after that. Her name was Frieda, which she absolutely hated. She had a habit of popping over at the most unexpected times, dyed her hair every colour of the rainbow, and was the most upbeat person I have ever met. Honest to gods, this girl never stopped. I can’t tell you how many times I found myself being dragged out of bed for a swim with the sun rise, or to find a new way onto the community center roof.

At sixteen she had run away from home, sneaking in to my bedroom late at night for a safe place to sleep. I felt so much love for her, and I was so angry at the universe for the shit hand it had dealt. She was my favourite person in the whole world. I told her everything, from my celebrity crush to my debilitating fear of the dark. We were each other’s lifeboat in life. I was there for the months when her eyes were dull and red. She was there when my fists bled, cleaning them and picking up whatever I’d broken. This girl deserved to be in one of her fairytales, a queen sitting on a throne made of trees and vines, free to laugh and love without fear. 

We’re seventeen now, sitting on the play structure staring at the clouds as she mumbles out a tale of talking trees and angry dwarves- not her best work but enthralling nonetheless. A van comes screeching into the parking lot, cutting her story short. Four teens come stumbling out, laughing hard and holding their stomachs. They make their way to the swings and I smile a bit at how happy they look. I turn towards Frieda, only to find her looking at them with the same small grin. As they get closer, I realize I don’t recognize any of them from around town. Frieda seems to have the same thought.

“Hey!” she yells. They turn towards us, looking guarded. “Are y’all from around here?” 

They head our way. I can see them better now, and the first thing I notice is that they very clearly haven’t showered for a few days. Greasy hair is pulled back in ponytails and buns, or pushed back with bandanas. I crinkle my nose a bit. Gross.

“Nah, we’re just passing through,” One of them says.” We’re heading to the national park a couple kilometers away? Y’know… crap, I forget the name.”

Frieda flashes a smile “You mean Redwood Park? That’s more than just a couple kilometers. It’s a four hour drive at least. Hope you weren’t planning on getting there before dark.”

The kids all groan, throwing out accusations on who read the map wrong, sliding down to the ground to sit with us. I wave a little and introduce myself.

“ I’m Andy, but my friends call me Darling.” Frieda elbows me in the stomach. 

“I call them Darling. Don’t act like we have more friends. I’m Frieda but they call me Free. And y’all are?”

There’s a flurry of names and introductions and my head spins, until someone starts yelling.

“ Alright, alright, one at a goddamned time! Sweet Jesus, you think they can hear a thing? I’m Alex,” he says, offering a hand. I shake it once, and pull back as Free grabs his hand, swinging it enthusiastically. He’s pretty, I think, with dark skin, a sharp jaw and shoulder length faded blue hair. He’s wearing ripped skinny jeans, a black t-shirt and a flannel around his waist. I move my gaze to the other three kids. They’re all dressed similarly, kind of a punk look going on. 

“I’m Lucky” says the girl, shooting a grin at the other two. They giggle at what I guess is an inside joke about her name. She’s gorgeous, with messy black hair pulled back, and deep brown eyes. She’s the tallest of the three, maybe the same height as Alex. “It’s cool to meet you. That’s Devon” She says, pointing to the kid with bright pink hair. He smiles weakly and offers a small wave. “We’re siblings”, she offers with a smile. I smile back, a little dazzled. 

The shortest kid squeezs out of the cuddle pile to shake my hand. 

“I’m Theo. Short for Theodore or Theodosia, depends on the day.” I beam, grabbing his hand, shaking it vigorously. Meeting another trans kid, hell meeting other queer kids, always makes me giddy. Sure, I’ve got Free who’s out and open about her bisexuality, but queer kids are rare in a small town like ours , may it be the homophobia or just lack of people. Free’s just as excited as me, sliding around Alex to shake Theo’s hand. We chat about our experiences, and they ask us a few questions about being queer in such a small town until Free decides to ask an important question.

“So any plans on where y’all are staying tonight?” she asks, eyes twinkling.

Alex frowns. “Probably the van? We weren’t exactly planning on stopping but I guess we’ve got no choice. No way we’re making it there in time.”

Free spins, grabbing my face in her hand and squeezing my cheeks. I stare, confused before frowning. Yeah we’d snuck her in plenty of times, but four other kids? It’d be a challenge. The corners of my lips turn up. Her grin widens, and she releases my face. 

“Sleepover at Darling’s!” She announces, rubbing her hands together. “They sneak me in all the time, so we’ve gotten pretty good at it. Plus they’ve got a huge room in the basement that’s basically soundproof.”

Devon, Lucky and Theo look thrilled but Alex seems skeptical. He glares them down, but we can all see his lips twitching. After a few seconds he turns to us, smiling big.

“I sure hope there’s a shower we can use. It’s been a while.”

I grin back, laughing. “There’s a bathroom connected to my room. And since my parents aren’t going to be home for about three hours, I have time to run to the grocery store and pick up enough groceries for an actual meal.”

At this they look hesitant, like I’m offering too much. Free swings her arm around my shoulder and gives them a small smile. 

“Let them buy you the food. The only way they know how to show affection is by buying you a shit ton of stuff; blame their parents.” 

Alex smiles and nods. 

“At least let us give you a ride” he says, gesturing towards his van.

 

\----

 

These have got to be the most carefree people I’ve ever met. Me and Devon are currently picking out some groceries for tonight- after a long argument everyone had settled on chicken breast, potatoes and a fuckton of vegetables- while the others are outside pushing each other around in shopping carts. I’m picking out some beans, making sure I don't get any brown ones, when Devon asks me how long I’ve known Frieda.

“The first time I talked to her I was fourteen. We’ve been best friends ever since.” I answer fondly. “She’s helped me through a lot of shit, I don’t know what I’d do without her” 

He nods as he grabs a bag for the brussel sprouts.

“I get it. When Lucky introduced me to Alex and Theo, it was like finding my family. I wouldn’t ever want to leave them.” 

I grab the brussel sprouts from his hand and toss them in the cart, making my way to the cashier.

“Honestly there's nothing better than having someone other than blood relations around all the time. Real family sucks.”

Devon laughs, skipping a bit to keep up with me. 

“ At least we have our friends.”

I nod absently, smiling at the cashier as I pile our items next to the cash. Devon’s already running out with some groceries when I swipe my card, hurrying a bit. I can already hear Theo shrieking outside.

Grabbing the rest of the food, I jog out the doors to find everyone crowded around the front door of the van struggling for shotgun. I grin, throwing the groceries into the back and crawling up to the front, waving at them through the window. There’s some good natured yelling before they pile into the back and slam the door behind them.

It’s a short drive to my house, Alex counting more on google maps than my directions to get us home. As we exit the van, I realize that my parents are definitely going to notice a strange van parked outside their house. I tap Free on the shoulder.

“Could you drive with Alex to the park and walk back? There’s no way my parents won’t notice the van” 

She nods, hopping back into the van, relaying my message to Alex. I grin as she leans in just a little closer than normal. She’s ridiculously obvious. I turn back to the house as they pull away from the curb, following the others in. 

Devon, Lucky and Theo drop down onto the couch, sighing. They’re leaning against each other, barely sitting up. I tap Theo’s head as I make my way to the kitchen, humming softly to a song playing in my head. I pull out some pans and a pot and get started on peeling potatoes. There’s a few offers of help but I refuse. I’m feeling weirdly light for some reason, and the casual conversation and soft music drifting in from the living room are nice background noises.


	2. Chapter 2

I’ve almost finished cooking when Free and Alex get back. I meet her eyes as soon as she comes through the door. Walking back shouldn't have taken them this long, but her hair is mussed and she’s beaming at me from across the room, so I’m assuming they took a pit stop.

“You’re late,” I say, shooting Alex a teasing glare from across the room. “Everybody grab a plate and make your way downstairs! Parents won’t be back for another half hour but I’m not taking any chances,” 

There’s some shoving as they make their way to the stove and I can’t help the smile that’s stuck on my face. I’ve smiled more today than I have in years, to the point where my cheeks are starting to get seriously sore. It’s amazing. I wait a couple seconds, taking in the absolute unrestrained joy I feel, before shoving my way in and piling food onto my plate. 

Free leads the way to the basement, taking the stairs two at a time. She stands in front of the door, arms spread wide. 

“Ladies, gentlemen, and all in between I give you… the basement!” she exclaims throwing open the door. 

The thing about the basement is that it is rather large. The first thing you see when you open the door is my old playroom which has a swing, a slide, a rope ladder, a pair of gymnastic rings and a big couch. To the right there's an old fireplace and a short hallway leading to my room, a utilities closet and a small gym. There's a couple Ooh's and Ah's as everyone makes their way through the door. Theo throws his free arm around my neck, dragging me down to his height.

“Damn Andy, what a place! I'd never leave if I lived here.” he teases. I smile back. 

“It's not the place I've got a problem with, it's the people that come with it.”

Theo flinches and turns red, withdrawing his arm. 

“Guess shitty parents can be a rich people thing too.”

I smile softly, hopefully letting him know I'm not offended.

I hear Alex and Devon screech and my head swivels away from Theo in search of the danger. When I see the cause of the yelling my shoulders drop and I drag Theo down the hall, with Lucky close behind, towards the open door leading to my room.

I hear his soft gasp as we cross the threshold. I blush as they take turns gaping at the clearly over the top room and my quickly reddening face. My room’s always been a little extra, but it's my safe space in this house so I tend to be anxious when bringing new people in. My eyes trail Devon, who's dragging her fingers across the bookshelves that create a wall between my bed and the door. I switch back to watching Theo, who's decided to look over the wall of papers on which I've written anything between quotes I thought were cute and rants about my parents. Alex and Lucky have already kicked off their shoes and are sitting down to eat on a couch I shoved into the furthest corner of my room. 

Free is practically vibrating as she spins around with a goofy grin on her face. 

“I've said it before, and I'll say it again,” she says pointing at me with a very serious face. I feel a grin spreading. “you've got the best room I've ever seen. Feels more like home than home.”

I bump her with my hip as I walk by and set my plate down on my dresser.

“Probably because you spend more time here than you've spent at your own house, you freeloader. I don't even get any rent from you taking up the whole bed almost every night.” I snark, poking fun. She play scowls back. 

“My company is more than enough payment for any wrongdoings I may have caused you.” she sniffs, her nose in the air.

I snort and turn around to everyone else who's seated on or around the bed. I clap my hands together and ask;

“So! What do we want to watch!?” 

 

-

 

A dozen minutes of arguing and two episodes of an obscure 90’s cartoon later, I hear the door to the basement open. I'm on my feet in a second, shoving everyone down to the floor and kicking the empty plates behind my bed. I've just sat down at my desk when there's a knock at my door. 

“ Annie?” I tense immediately.

“It's Andy mom, come on.” I answer. I walk to the door and poke my head out. “What's up, I was reading about Mikhail Gorbachev.”

My mother tilts her head a squints at me. 

“The last leader of the Soviet Union? Why on- nevermind. Your father and I are turning in early tonight, so no going upstairs okay? You know how upset he gets when you wake him up.”

My shoulders curl in automatically, remembering the last time I'd woken him up. The abuse may not have reached serious physical levels but the man was still absolutely terrifying when he yelled. 

“Yeah mom, I got it. Don't worry, I already made dinner so I'll just bring up the plate tomorrow.” I smile tightly and close the door on her soft ‘goodnight’. 

I exhale tightly and relax. No evidence of guests was found, I was in the clear so far. I wait a moment till I hear the basement door close, and go to check that she's really left. I shut the door once I'm sure there's no sign of her. 

“You’re all clear to come out now! No trace of your existence was found so I think we're gonna be good for the rest of the night! If we want more snacks we'll have to crawl out the window, but that's the worst of it.”

Free groans, using the bed and bookshelf to drag herself up from where she'd crammed herself down so quickly. Theo, Lucky and Alex are a tangle of limbs next to her and are having a hard time untangling themselves. Devon is already next to me with a comforting pat on my shoulder. She's only there a second before she takes off to the bathroom to wash her hands. 

I don't know why I wasn't expecting a small scream and I roll my eyes. Free's reaction was identical when my parents had installed the new bathtub in my bathroom. 

“You could fit five people in here, easy!” she'd said with a gasp. She had then spent the next hour soaking in a bubble bath while I sat on the counter in a face mask reading out loud about astrophysics. I suppose something similar would be happening with this group.

Sure enough when Theo followed Devon I heard a yell and then;

“Devon, what the FUCK. Put your pants back on!” 

“Theo do you see the size of the tub I'm taking a goddamned bath, holy shit this is gonna be luxurious as all hell.”

Free's cracking up beside me, and I grin a little at the obvious comparison between our friendship and Devon and Theo. Deciding to join the fun I lean against the bathroom doorway. 

“I've got extra pajamas and I can throw everyone's clothes in the wash if y'all want to hang out in the bathtub. There's got to be at least six different kinds of bubble bath under the counter.” I say, pointing to the cupboards under the sink. 

Theo groans and drops his head in his hands while Devon lets out a victory whoop and a small victory dance. 

\---  
I go hunting for spare pj’s in the storage under the stairs while the others are getting the bath ready- at least I hope that’s what they’re doing. There’s been an unholy amount of screaming and crashes, so fingers crossed I’m not going to come back to a murder scene. Aha! Success! I open a crate labelled ‘Sleepwear’ and drag it out into the hall. I’m not about to try and guess prefered sizes. I skip back into the bathroom, happily noting that everyone is alive and accounted for. The bath is a mess, practically overflowing with bubbles, and someone seems to have figured out the jets, and both Theo and Free are already lowering themselves down into the water, all clothing other than underwear thrown haphazardly across the room. Devon and Alex are in a half state of undress, sitting on the edge of the tub throwing handfuls of bubbles at each other. 

I bounce towards the bathtub, stripping as I make my way. I’m tripping out of my jeans when Lucky hops off the counter to lend me a stable hand. I peel off my jeans and with a grateful pat to her hand, I jump into the seemingly infinite bubbles.

\--------

Eventually Alex, Lucky and Devon slide in beside us and it’s chaos for a while, all of us squirming around trying to find a way we can all fit comfortably. The task is deemed futile when Lucky’s foot hits me in the face and her head goes under. She comes up spluttering, as I rub my nose. 

“Alright that’s it. Somebody’s getting sat on, this shit isn’t working” she declares, eyes scanning us, apparently deciding who would make the best seat. I shriek as she lunges towards me, but she hits Alex instead, sitting right besides me. He lets out a groan of pain, and glares down to where she’s fluttering her eyelashes up at him. “So sorry, did that hurt?” she smirks, and he grunts as he picks her up and dumps her in the middle, into the tangle of legs. 

She’s glaring daggers as she surfaces and he lets out this huge laugh, before a flash of shock passes over his face and he’s being dragged down next to her. Devon looks absolutely delighted as she starts delivering soft kicks to the two maniacs wrestling for the seat recently abandoned. Free sighs and scooches towards me as she stretches her body across the open seat, resting her head on my shoulder. There’s a sudden pause to the fighting and a collective ‘Hey!’ as they realize they’ve both lost the seat. Free simpers at them, looking especially pleased with herself. Alex huffs and drags himself out of the bath, Grabbing a towel off the counter. Free’s eyes are super glued to his chest, not taking notice of the rest of us rolling our eyes at each other. In her defense… he is incredibly attractive. I blush and pull myself out after him, drying myself off and then wrapping the towel around my hair. 

I head out to change, grabbing my sweats off my bed and ducking behind a bookcase for privacy. I change quickly, swiping a shirt off the ground and throwing it over my head. I flop down on my bed and open my laptop to the show we were watching. I wince as it starts up, loud voices filling the room. I exit the tab, opening my music and putting on Free’s playlist. It’s titled ‘Legends’ and she’d put it together one night as we sat on my bed, dreaming up wild adventures until the early morning. It ended up being a mess of late 2000’s, indie, 90’s rock and soft queer music and my favourite playlist ever since. 

Free comes flying out of the bathroom a couple seconds after I hit play, belting out the lyrics to the indie pop song shuffle had landed on and digs through my drawers for a few seconds before turning to me, seemingly about to ask a question before her eyes land on my sweats. 

“You took them!” she exclaims accusingly, eyes narrowing. I giggle at the dramatic declaration and shake a leg teasingly in her direction.

“Oh, you mean these? My only oversized pair of sweats? The ones I know are both our favourite pair of pants? Why, I would never.” 

She glares once more and I turn back to my laptop, safe for only a moment as I’m tackled to the side by still damp Free attempting to tear the sweats directly off my body. I curse, kicking out aiming for her stomach, but she dodges at the last second, letting go to avoid my legs. I scamper to the back of the bed, arming myself with one of the dozen pillows. I bring my arm back, ready to throw down. Free freezes, seemingly hesitant now that I’ve armed myself. She holds up her arms in surrender, and I drop onto my back giggling. I feel the bed move as she goes to join the others to search through the pj bin.

You know those moments where you’re overwhelmed with softness and contentment? Yeah, there’s nothing better. I shove my face into the sheets to hide my smile, which only grows as I take the moment to listen to Free fight our new friends for the best pajama sets. How ridiculous is it that small moments like this are what make life worth living? I flip onto my side, watching them shove each other for a minute before I make my way around them, gathering discarded clothes and towels to throw in the wash.

By the time I come back into the room everyone has settled down and Devon seems to have managed to captivate Free’s attention with what I’d assume to be a tale from their roadtrip. He’s gesturing wildly, and I snort as Lucky throws herself backwards, almost tumbling off the bed to avoid a particularly wide and enthusiastic arm wave. Getting a running start, I launch myself into the middle of the bed, taking Alex and Theo down with me. I’m so happy I must not be as aware as I usually am because I don’t hear the footsteps until they’re right above us, heading down the stairs. I freeze, panic choking me. Free, immediately noticing the change in expression, quickly hushes everyone and starts herding everyone towards possible hiding places. They catch on quickly, noticing the shift in mood and hurrying to duck into the closet or bathroom. I lunge to turn off the music, my heart racing as I try to make it seem like I haven’t been harbouring five teens in my room. I’m passing the pajama bin to Free who’s hiding in the closet with Devon when I hear a knock on my door. I close the door as softly as possible as I yell out.

“One sec!” 

I pad over to the door, opening it just enough so as to attempt to avoid a room search, but my mother pushes past me anyway. 

Frowning, she does a sweep of the room.

“I thought I heard yelling.” she says tightly. I flinch under her glare but steel myself nonetheless. She’ll either find out or she won’t and acting scared will do nothing to improve my chances.

“ I was reading,” I say, glaring right back. “ I got too emotional about it and started yelling. I didn’t notice how loud I was. I’ll save the rest of the book for the morning.”

My lies don’t soften her, and she walks right up to me. 

“ You’re lucky I convinced your father to let me come down instead of him. If I wake up again tonight, I won’t bother. Do you understand Annie?” She hisses, her face red and angry. I nod quickly, not bothering to correct her on my name for fear of angering her further.

She takes one last look around the room before heading back upstairs. As soon as I hear the first step creak, I’m sliding down the wall, until I hit the ground, my whole body shaking and thanking every god I know that it wasn’t my father who came down. I hear the closet door slide open and then Free is there dragging me up off the ground before grabbing the others from the bathroom. I smile and hope, pray they can’t see how shaken I am by such a short encounter. 

Thankfully, everyone seems too happy to have survived the encounter to notice that my hands haven’t stopped shaking. We make our way back to the bed and surrounding area, the mood a little darker than it was before. Pillows and blankets are pulled out from the cupboard in the bookshelf and everyone crowds onto the bed and couch to sleep. Soft giggles and hushed conversations last for about a half hour before everyone else is asleep. My heart is still racing, my pulse pounding throughout my whole body. I know the adrenaline will fade out eventually but I’m hyper aware of Free, Devon and Alex sleeping so close. I can feel someone’s leg pressed against mine and an arm thrown over my stomach. Usually I can’t stand anyone other than Free touching me after an attack but this feels less like being trapped and more… grounding I suppose. Comforting, even if I’m a little over heated from all the body heat. 

I squirm a bit trying to get out from under the blanket without waking anyone and someone pulls me flush against their chest. My face burns but I smile softly at the ridiculousness of the situation. How is it possible to feel so much softness for people I just met? I pull Free closer and bury my face in her hair, closing my eyes and trying to force myself to sleep. I’ll have to get up early tomorrow so my parents don’t come down to wake me up and find a group of homeless teens.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this whole thing at three am on two extra large coffees u think i know anything that happens in this chapter??? Absolutely not. Zero editing ill die on my no editing rock. Post w no preview, act like a god. I need some fuckin sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey kids! There’s some abuse in this chapter and a pretty heavy panic attack! Pls be careful if these are triggers! Ily <3

I wake with the sun, quietly sliding out from the tangle of limbs and padding upstairs to start a pot of coffee. My dad is up, as he usually is, eating his cereal and reading the latest national geographic at the kitchen table. I’m immediately tense, whispering a simple and quiet good morning so as to not appear rude or disturb him. Making coffee is a quick task and I move to head back downstairs when he speaks for the first time.

“I’d like a moment.” Such an innocent sentence, but fear is once again crawling up my throat as I move to sit across from him. 

He does not look up from his magazine as he speaks. “You woke up your mother and me last night.”

“I didn’t realize how loud I was being. I’m sorry.” I say. I can feel the panic rising, but with it comes anger, as it usually does with him. Why can't he just leave me alone?

“Next time it happens, I’m throwing out your laptop. I’m tired of being woken up for no good reason.”

I frown. He says this so casually, makes threats so casually and it’s absolutely infuriating. I can’t help the bite that leaves my mouth with my answer.

“That’s a waste of money” I snap. His head whips up, and I immediately berate myself for not playing the dutiful child for a few minutes. Why can’t I ever just keep my mouth shut? He’s standing now, leaning across the table.

“Do NOT give me attitude Annie. I’m not in a good mood after not getting enough sleep, don’t test my patience.”

I can feel the tears now, building in the back of my throat but I swallow hard and glare him down.

“Can I go to my room?”

I know the answer is no because this fight is far from finished but I’m already bolting down the stairs, hoping over the railing, desperate to get to my room and lock the door. I hear a chair clatter to the floor, and then he’s coming down after me and every atom in my body is screaming and I don’t know how but I’m in my room with enough time to jam a chair under the doorknob before he’s pounding on the door and yelling threats that blur together. I fall backwards in an attempt to get as far away from him as I can but refusing to turn my back on him in case he somehow manages to get through. I’m not aware of the others, I can barely remember that they’re there and probably watching, there’s no way that didn’t wake them up but all I can feel is panic and oh gods what if he gets through and sees them I’m dead Im dead imdeadimdeadimdead he’s going to kill me if he gets in- and then there’s a hand in my hair and I’m being lowered to lie on someone’s lap and I can see the others putting their weight on the door making sure he can’t get in and the tears are coming and I hate being weak but I can’t stop them from rolling down my face. There’s a hand in my hair and I’m hyperventilating until my lungs feel like they’re being crushed and the world fades to black.

I wake up to careful whispers and a hand still running through my hair, and I can’t help but burst into tears again and it’s so ridiculous how weak I am that the tears turn to angry laughter so quickly that it shocks even me. But it’s taken in stride and someone helps me sit up and things are still blurry but I know that my throat is raw and someone is handing me a glass of water and it feels cold when I grab it and I breath a little easier, taking small sips as Free runs her hand up and down my back. I smile softly, but my body is still shaking and I’m definitely non verbal. I give her leg three taps, a code we made up after I first went non verbal around her. I take a few minutes before I get up on shaky legs and head back to bed to sleep off the shakes.

Once again I wake to more whispers, these ones more joyful. I lie there for a few minutes listening to them play what I think is charades? I open my eyes to try and confirm my assumption and snort loudly. Lucky and Alex seem to be attempting to act out some kind of… I honestly can’t tell but it looks terrible. 

The snort drew attention and sets off a chain reaction of giggle fits and Lucky and Alex are left standing looking rather indignant before breaking into laughter. I sit up slowly, wiping sleep from my eyes. For a moment I can picture this being forever, a stable family of people like me. I wave the idea away. I still have some school, not to mention I don’t know how I’d survive a week without the food and shelter my parents provide. Might as well absorb the love while it sticks around. My smile spreads wider as I slide off the bed.

“ I’d be pretty tired of being cooped up all day if i hadn’t been sleeping. Wanna explore the town? You could stay another night, take advantage of the free bed and food?”

The decision of the group is immediate and unanimous; to the outdoors we go. I throw on a pair of mom jeans, a wife beater and pull on my combat boots. The others are just as quick in getting ready, with Free already crawling out the window. She pauses, making sure there are no cars in the driveway, then sticks her hand back in, waving us forward. The others slip out, one by one, quick and quiet as thieves. I go last, leaving the window open only a crack.  
\--------------------

Out of the house, everyone gets rowdy, pent up energy coming loose in the streets. We`re shoving each other onto the roads, into the low ditches, wandering with no solid destination in mind. If we keep on this road though, we’ll end up at the rapids, which are low enough to cross at this time of year.

There’s a clearing on the other side, almost fairytale like, with a big oak tree in the middle, perfect for climbing. I’d discovered it years ago, and set up a swing on one branch and I’d hammered in a couple planks to sit on up in the tree. It’d be a good place to fool around for an afternoon, but I’d only ever brought Free here. It felt like something that was really mine, and showing so many people where it was, was scary. It would feel like giving them a chance to take it away. But at the same time, they weren’t going to be here much longer, so was there really any harm?

I’m pulled out of my thoughts by Alex grabbing my sleeve and plopping me down on a bench outside the gas station. He leans in close enough that my whole neck goes red.

“Get ready to take off if we come out running” he whispers into my ear.

I glance at the rest of the group in confusion, and Devon shoots me some finger guns before they all disappear into the store. I watch through the window, in what I hope is a stealthy manner, watching Alex ask the cashier about the condoms, sending another rush of heat up my neck, as the others walk casually around the store, shoving things into bags, waistbands, pockets and bras. Alex pays, thanks the cashier and heads for the door. The others trail after him, grouping together and chattering amongst themselves. I get up as the door swings open and Alex grabs my hand, dragging me away. I stumble, half from having not been prepared for it, half from my eyes refusing to leave the pocket I know the box of condoms in. My whole body feels like it’s overheating and the knowledge that I’m probably red as a strawberry doesn’t help me calm down.

The others catch up quickly, and Free latches on to my other hand, skipping along to keep up with Alex’s legs. At this point I’m practically being dragged along, tripping over my feet and given no chance to regain my balance. Free slides in closer, lifting me up by under my armpit, giving me the support I need to get back on my feet just long enough to throw my arms around Alex’s neck and clamber up onto his back.

He trips a bit before regaining his balance and taking off again with me screaming my face off and holding on for dear life. I hear shrieks of laughter and the slamming of shoes hitting concrete as the others take off after us. I'm tempted to look back at them, but there's no way I'm moving my head from where it's buried in the side of his neck until I'm safe on the ground again.

We keep running until we hit the fence at the edge of the river. Alex huffs, Out of breath from running with me on his back, but lifts his hand up for a high five anyways. I comply, snorting as he collapses as soon as I hit his hand. The others are seconds behind, jogging up to us.

\-----  
We lead them through the hole in the fence and slide down the hill down to the river. There's a sort of beach made of smooth rocks, and I sit down to take off my shoes.

“How many people know about this place” asks Devon, hand over her eyes to block out the sun.

“Basically the whole town” says Free, as she slides to a stop. “No one likes to come down here though. Water’s usually too shallow to swim, rapids are too fast for most, and there's a shit ton of seaweed. Definitely not a favourite spot in this place.”

“So like a little haven for us then!” Devon says, brightening at the fact that we'd be alone.

Free laughs, and leans her head against Devon’s arm.

“ Yeah thank the gods. The beach here is always stupid crowded.” she sighs, pressing a soft kiss against Devon’s shoulder.

Devon smiles softly, slipping off her shoes and socks before throwing Theo over her shoulder and heading straight to where the rapids fall about half a meter, creating a little swirling pool of water, free of seaweed. Theo screeches with laughter, pounding at her back, protesting that they haven’t even taken off their shoes yet.

Their protests fall on deaf ears, and Devon lets them fall into the pool, Theo scrambling for traction on the riverbed as to not end up completely soaked. I snort, watching them flail about before Lucky is sweeping me off my feet, sliding across the slimy rock floor, straight towards Theo and Devon. I screech and kick my feet, calling to Free for help only to see her running past us, losing her balance at the last second and taking Devon down with her. We reach the pool just as they come up spluttering, Free splashing anyone and everyone in the vicinity. Lucky drops me, throwing up her hands on to block her face, and I go tumbling down into the rocky bottom.  
\----------------.  
Two bruised up knees, and one bloody elbow later, I’m sitting in the middle of the pool, moaning dramatically with Devon seemingly attempting to drown herself out of guilt. The others decided to ignore us as soon as I was deemed ‘not dead’ and are a little way down, attempting to float down the river without and tubes. I look back at Devon, who’s head is still under. Frowning, I kick out a foot, hitting her head and she comes up out of the water, gasping for air and glaring at me. I shrug, sending her another loving kick.

“Had to make sure we don’t have another near death experience today.” I say, not so subtly teasing her and she wails again, falling backwards into the water.

She comes up a few seconds later, kicking her legs and sending a small tidal wave over my head before booking it down the river towards the others. I watch, coughing up water, as she plops down in Alex’s lap while he attempts to push himself down the river. He looks a little surprised to suddenly have a human in his lap, and a little annoyed that said human has disrupted his slow scooch across the riverbed, but he wraps his arms around her nonetheless, simply gathering her in his arms and continuing his quest to deeper water. She seems content with this, snuggling up closer to his chest. Theo seems to have have found a different way to entertain themselves, standing on the small patch of grass between where the two rivers part, throwing sticks into the river- he might actually be trying to get them to collide with Free who’s sitting on the rougher side of the split, attempting to catch crawfish in her hands. I doubt she’ll notice the sticks hitting her with how absorbed she looks but Theo seems content either way, so I guess it doesn’t matter. I lean back into the small drop in the rocks and let the water hit my face for a few moments, just enjoying a nice day as they seem to be getting further and further apart.

The thought of leaving crosses my mind again, of packing a bag, grabbing Free and taking off with a band of misfits just like we’ve dreamed our whole lives. The fact that this is an actual possibility hits me with a jolt. I’ve been hiding a band of misfits in my room. I have literally been sneaking them in and out through a fucking window for the love of gods. My smile grows as I lean back further into the cascade, falling deeper into the fantasy of escape. Of happiness.

The possibility of a found family always seemed so far away. I mean me and  
Free have each other, and I’m incredibly grateful for that, but there’s always been something so heartwarming about having a home with a whole family. Free’s always been the story teller between us but she used to love hearing about my hopes for a family. I can’t tell you how many times I’d describe making breakfast for everyone as they all slowly wake up, sometimes asleep on couches and floors from a movie night before, sometimes scattered around the house, everyone feeling safe enough to knock out anywhere. A family at a table, actually looking forward to the day, looking forward to coming home. So simple. And until now, completely unattainable for us.

I’m pulled from fantasizing by the sound of feet splashing towards me. I open my eyes to everyone smiling down at me, the sun behind them making them glow and my heart feels like its about to burst. Free stands in the middle, hair wild and smiling so wide, i know we’ve been thinking the same thing. She sticks out her hand, pulling me up after I grab it. Her clothes are still semi dry, so I pull her in for a hug, spinning her around as she yells. I don’t let go of her hand as we make our way to shore, make our way back across town in our wet clothes. I give her hand one last squeeze as my house comes into view. Before I can let go completely she grabs both my hands, squeezing them in hers, eyes shining with more life than I’ve ever seen. And then she’s crying, pulling me into a crushing hug, sobbing so hard I’m worried she’s hurt before she grabs my face, smiling so big I can’t help but smile back.

“ I feel alive,” she gasps between sobs and then I’m crying too, hugging her so hard it’ll bruise. I feel it too.

“ We have to go now don’t we?” I say choking back another sob, both terrified and so, so incredibly intoxicated by the concept of freedom.

I can feel her nodding as she buries her face in my neck for a moment longer before I shove her away, towards the side of the road. I wipe my tears and blow them a kiss, then turn back towards the house, fear filling me with every step I take.


End file.
